A Helpful Divorce Guide for Fathers
Many would say marriage is as beautiful as a flower but as delicate as glass. A beautiful union can easily fall into a devastating legal battle.
True to this, the number of couples divorcing in Australia is increasing. In 2020 alone, the country saw a 1.9% increase in divorce grants.
Have you recently gone your separate ways with your partner, too? Are you having a hard time coping with the aftermath of divorce?
This divorce guide is for you! Read on to learn how to be a good father after divorce and more!
Divorce is one of the most excruciating parts of a man's life, primarily because it rarely goes in favour of the father. For one, it's standard for an Australian family court to ask the fathers to pay monthly child support.
This monetary responsibility is not a problem for fathers with full-time jobs. However, it'll be challenging for temporarily employed and freelance dads to make ends meet and pay for child care simultaneously.
Moreover, divorce pushes parents to go their separate ways. Often, it's the father that has to move to another place. This distance makes it hard for them to maintain regular contact with their children.
Also, getting a divorce is an emotionally destructive process. It often results in shame, discomfort, and a sense of loss. Fathers walk away after divorce because they feel like they failed as a man.
This is much more so when there's a stepfather supposedly replacing the father's presence. In such circumstances, fathers feel out of place, which forces them to start pulling out.
Yet the most significant reason fathers walk away after divorce is the law. When fathers become non-custodial parents, they have minimal opportunity to participate in their child's life.
Non-custodial means the fathers will have the child only 30% of the time. The usual arrangement goes between one evening a week and every other weekend.
This setup is making the father more of a visitor than a parent. In the child's daily life, the father isn't present.
Hence, the father becomes more of a relative than a parent to the child. This perception keeps the child from maintaining a relationship with the father. All these create a situation where fathers feel it's better to support their children from afar.
Know that as much as mums, fathers have the right to access their children. With the best divorce lawyers, you won't have to suffer the consequences of legal mandates.
First, it's good to go with an attorney with experience in these cases.
The best attorney should also be able to present a solid legal strategy on how they can uphold your rights as a father and estimate the time it'll take to complete your case.
After negotiating a reasonable parenting plan, you only have to focus on being a good father even after divorce. Unfortunately, many think divorce creates a massive gap between fathers and their children. However, father-child relationships can also grow deeper with divorce.
Yet there are specific rules that fathers need to note to maintain a healthy relationship with their children. For one, you must refrain from dishing the dirt on the mother in front of the children.
Otherwise, your children will get hurt. In the long run, they might start feeling angry at you for speaking negatively of their other parent. You have limited time with your child, so you should focus on building your relationship.
In situations where it's hard to live near your child, maintain regular communication. Know that absence can breed negative feelings. Hence, as we've pointed out in this divorce guide, you need to make extra effort to ensure your child doesn't feel neglected.
For instance, send care packages containing comforting foods and vitamins when they're sick. Take advantage of mobile technology, and regularly video call your child. Of course, it also wouldn't hurt to collect and share funny TikTok videos or memes with your child once in a while.
If you start dating again, don't hide it from them but at the same time, be selective of what you share. Please wait until you're stable with your new partner before introducing her to them. This spares your child the pain of losing someone they've grown attached to if things don't work out.
Reassure your child that you're not going anywhere just because you're dating. The best way to show this is to keep your child's visitation time for "your child only." Reserve dates for when you're not with your child.
As with women, men also have difficulty finding their way after divorce. The emotional challenge of loneliness and the social stigma on divorcees make it hard for fathers to get back on track.
Your actions and decisions are significantly affected when you're emotionally and mentally disturbed. Thus, there's a high chance that you might be making a grave mistake that can affect your relationship with your child.
As such, you must care for your emotional, mental, and social health to become a good father. One way of ensuring this is to join a divorced father's support group.
You need a support group to help you tackle the issues you incurred from getting divorced. Since you share similar experiences with the members, they completely understand what you're going through. Thus, they can provide better advice than your single or married peers.
The road during and after divorce is as devastating for men as it is for women. During such dark times, it helps to maintain a cool head about your partner in front of the kids. It's also best to keep your communication lines open and spend as much time as possible with your child.
Best of all, pay attention to your emotional, mental, and social needs. Confide with a friend, join a support group, or read a divorce guide to get as much help as you can. Better days are yet to come; take it one step at a time.
Need a legal representative who can help you with your divorce case? Give us a call or leave a message, and we'll get in touch with you shortly!
Please note the contents of this post is information only and not legal advice.
If you require legal advice it is best to contact one of our lawyers who can review your particular circumstances and then provide tailored
advice according to your needs.
We provide legal services to clients all over Queensland as well as interstate. Many of our services, such as conveyancing, will preparation, and estate management can be accessed remotely via phone, email and registered post where required.
Liability limited by a scheme approved under professional standard's legislation.